Blissful Berry Buckle

Many of you are probably wondering why my blog posts have become so infrequent. For months now I’ve been struggling with what to do with the blog as it has become a bit of a love-hate relationship. It’s perplexing because it has been such an important part of my life. And although I can honestly say it still is, it’s evolved into something very different. Much of this has to do with where I am in my life now; there have been a lot of changes.
Last year, my marriage unraveled, fell apart, and ultimately ended. I managed to pick of the pieces and move on, but the blog took the biggest blow as my attention span was forced to widen to a world outside of my kitchen.

It didn’t occur to me until a few months ago why my blog, something I loved and cherished so much for so many years, had become something I avoided. For years I was in the type of marriage where everything seemed fine but deep down, we were in trouble and I felt terribly alone. Looking back now I knew then that things were not good but I refused to admit to myself what was happening and that’s right around the time that I started blogging. I guess you could say I stuck my head into the proverbial batter.

Through baking and blogging I received lots of attention, praise, adoration, and encouragement (thank you all so much for that!). It was the perfect distraction. Without really realizing it, I found a proxy to give me everything I was lacking emotionally in my marriage and somehow it bridged the gap. The more I baked and posted the more feedback I’d receive and the happier and less alone I felt. But during those late nights while I stayed up to finish a cake, I couldn’t help but to think about how my marriage was eroding and how hopeless I felt, how unhappy I really was. But eventually I had to face reality and in what seems like a blink now, it was all over. I was a single mom with a mortgage and baking seemed like the last thing on earth I wanted to do.

I took the time to tell my friends and family about my failed marriage, but it occurred to me that I’ve never taken the time to tell you. It wasn't until this very moment that I felt like the time was right to share this news with you.

Today, I am a much happier and confident that I’m where I am supposed to be. I feel really hopeful about my future and although I do have my days, life is good. As for the blog, well, I’m not really sure what will become of it. Maybe the blog will evolve to become more than just about baking. After all, there’s more to me than just the sweets I whip up in my kitchen; perhaps it’s time the blog follow suit.

For now, though I leave you with a very special Berry Buckle I made back on a Valentines Day. The combination of lemon and buttermilk gives this buckle a zesty edge but the berries soften it just enough to keep it from being overwhelming. It was so delectable I barely had time to take pictures before it was fully consumed.

Blissful Berry Buckle
Yield: It really depends on how you cut it, but plan on 6 to 8 servings.
adapted from Rustic Fruit Desserts

Crumb Topping
1/2 cup of all-purpose flour
1/2 cup sugar
1/8 teaspoon kosher salt
zest of 1 medium normal-sized lemon (avoid zesting any green rind)
1/4 cup unsalted butter, at room temperature, cubed

Cake
1 1/2 cups plus 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 baking soda
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
6 tablespoons unsalted butter, at room temperature
3/4 cup sugar
zest of 1 medium (normal) sized lemon (avoid zesting any green rind)
2 eggs, at room temperature
1/2 cup of buttermilk, at room temperature
2 cups of fresh strawberries, raspberries, and/or blueberries (you can use frozen fruit too)

Lemon Syrup
1/3 cup sugar
juice of 2 medium sized lemons (avoid the giant lemons)

Preheat the oven to 350F. Generously butter (you'll need an additional tablespoon of unsalted butter, softened to room temperature) a 9" square baking pan and set aside.

To make the crumb topping, mix the flour, sugar, salt, and lemon zest together in a bowl. Add the butter and use a fork, your fingers, or pastry cutter to cut the butter until it is the size of peas and looks crumby. Evenly spread the crumb topping onto a plate and place it in the freezer.

To make the cake, whisk the flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, and nutmeg together in a bowl. In a separate bowl, cream the butter, sugar, and lemon zest together on medium-high speed for 5 minutes, scraping down the bowl and beaters at least once, until it turns white and fluffy. Add the eggs, one at a time, and beat for 30 seconds each, scraping the bowl and the beaters in between eggs. Stir in the flour in two additions, alternating with the buttermilk. Gently fold in half of the berries (1 cup). Pour the batter into your prepared pan, smooth out the surface, and evenly distribute the remaining berries over the surface of the batter.Sprinkle the chilled crumb topping evenly over the berries and bake for 40 to 50 minutes, or until it's lightly golden brown and the top is firm to the touch.

About 15 minutes before the cake is done, start the lemon syrup: Combine the sugar and lemon juice in a small saucepan and whisk until blended. Cook over medium-low heat, stirring occasionally, for 8 to 10 minutes, until syrupy but still a little runny. The glaze will bubble while cooking, so you may need to remove it from the heat to check that it is thick enough.

Pour the glaze over the cake as soon as it is removed from the oven. (If the syrup becomes too thick, you may need to reheat briefly.)

This is great right out of the pan, but gets even better the next day. It is wonderful served warm with fresh whipped cream or vanilla ice cream.

Would I Make This Again? Yes, it's not overly sweet and it's light but satisfying. It's perfect for a late night snack or for breakfast. Use the fruit you have in the house, frozen or fresh, it will work. I made this with a container of mixed fresh fruit that I just happened to have picked up at the grocery store the day before. It's just yummy.

I absolutely loved this dessert. It was the first thing I baked after a long dry spell of not wanting to bake anything. As I measured out the ingredients, listened to the mixer's cadence, and breathed in the glorious bouquet of lemon and baked berries, I felt my love for baking slowly return to gently warm my heart again. It was in that moment that I knew that I was going to be just fine. :)